Archive | May, 2013

Stuff That Happened This Week

21 May

doctor who fez STHTW

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A weekly collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff Bar

Kurt Braunohler is going to write funny things in the sky! ~ Comedian Kurt Braunohler successfully raised enough money on Kickstarter to fund his project– and that project is to write funny things in the sky. Braunohler has this to say about the project:

“Skywriting is crazy. We’re forcing clouds to say things. That’s inherently funny. How great would it be to look up one day and there’s a message in the sky, for no other reason other than itself. It’s not trying to sell you anything, it’s not trying to tell you something. It’s just there.”

Of the list of possible phrases Braunohler is thinking of using, my favorites are “HOW DO I LAND??” and “Clouds 4 EVA!” It would make my day to look up and see that in the sky. [Kurt Braunohler Kickstarter]

Denying Men Sex Is Like Child Neglect ~ The Wall Street Journal ran this article a while ago (“How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex“). I didn’t write about it because every time I tried to talk about, all that came out of my mouth was a sustained scream. The article chronicles the tortured year of a man who had to cope with a wife who refused to have sex with him. What monster woman would do such a thing?! It made him feel sad, you guys:

“He became grumpy, gained weight and stopped wanting to come home at night. “For me to feel good about myself, I needed her to have sex with me,” he says. “Otherwise I thought she didn’t love me.””

WHERE DID HE FIND THE COURAGE TO GO ON????!!! I’m not being blasé about this man’s problem. Intimacy is important in a relationship. HOWEVER, tucked away, towards the very end of the article, is a throwaway line mentioning the fact that his wife had a miscarriage. Do you think that might have affected her  just a little bit? There is nothing in the article to suggest that anything was being done to help her work through her emotional issues. But whatever. Let’s not lose focus- this man is not having sex. He even did chores for her! How rude. [New York Magazine]

DI other stuff bar

– 14 Reasons Why Life Should Be More Like Singin’ In The Rain [Buzzfeed]

– New poster for Catching Fire is BADASS [The Mary Sue]

– Origins of 9 British Insults [Mental Floss]

– Cocktail Chart of Film of Literature ~ This chart is pretty extensive. It has everything from a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy) to a Gibson (from North by Northwest). Very cool. [Pop Chart Lab]

– “Give Yourself Permission to suck” ~ Exerpt from Michael Ian Black’s Rumpus interview on how to succeed in comedy/creative fields.  [Christine Friar]

 

DI articles bar

Can Men Be Funny? (Ellie Kemper // GQ)

What Commencement Speeches Are Missing (Andrew Guthrie Furguson // The Atlantic)

Stop Comparing Everything To Girls (Daniel D’Addario // Salon)

Ethics of Extreme Porn (Conor Friedersdorf //The Atlantic)


DI videos bar

17 A Capella Covers of Indie Rock Songs [Buzzfeed]

Tig Notaro’s Lessons In Remaining In the Moment [Team Coco]

Supercut of people in the movies screaming “NOOOOOOO!” [The Mary Sue]

Stephen Colbert’s Commencement Speech at UVA [Uproxx]

 

DI trailers and tv news barSleepy Hollow trailer ~ Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci re-imagine the Sleepy Hollow story in this new FOX drama.

Super Fun Night trailer ~ Trailer for Rebel Wilson’s new show on ABC.

The Goldbergs trailer ~ Trailer for Patton Oswalt, Jeff Garlin, and Wendi McLendon-Covey’s new show on ABC.

Clip from the new Whose Line Is It Anyway? ~ Ugh. These people are delightful.

 

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Photo of the Day 5.17.13 ~ Achieve Greatness

17 May

if you want to achieve greatnessimage by Eddie Colla

It’s just about controlling your own fate. If you make your success contingent upon the approval of others, you’re kinda following the formula for failure. There are few great achievements in the history of the world that were not, at first, met with doubt or fear or both. For every person who achieved something great, there were 100 who told them it couldn’t or shouldn’t be done. ~ Eddie Colla

 

*full interview here

 

“Compliments”

17 May

Inside Amy Schumer ~ “Compliments”

“Are you drunk? I look like an armenian man!”

 

Sometimes, I don’t know how to deal with positive attention…

 

Everyone you love is dead or crazy, Homegirl!

15 May

I don’t know if the handful of people following this blog enjoy German silent films from the Weimar Era, but if you do– you’re in luck! This is a movie review of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Das Cabinet Des Dr. Caligari), a German expressionist film from the 20s. It’s a great movie. You should watch it (then come back here and talk about how crazy awesome it is). ENJOY!

cesarSilent films are crazy.

German films are crazy.

The fusion of the two together is almost too much.

Almost.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari) is actually pretty brilliant. Once you embrace the over-the-top and the awesomely dramatic– you realize it is a pretty amazing film.

It opens, ideally enough, with two men sitting on a park bench shooting the breeze about what else– ghosts. One man admits that “spirits surround us on every side… they have driven me from hearth and home, from wife and child!” Without missing a beat– his friend tells him, “That is NOTHING– listen to THIS!”

There is nothing worse than your friend constantly one-upping you… except maybe being haunted by ghosts.

The camera fades in on Narrator (Francis)’s hometown which is quaint and idyllic aaaaaand a terrifying post-impressionist painting. All the buildings and streets are uneven and geometrically unsettling and everyone is cranky because they are forced to sit in wildly uncomfortable post-impressionistic furniture.

Narrator (Francis) is actually pretty boring.

Look at how evil I am!

Look at how evil I am!

What is awesome is Dr. Caligari and how amazingly sinister he looks. Dr. Caligari rocks every “bad-guy” motif there is. He is like the Penguin, Ebenezer Scrooge, and Voldemort rolled into one. And just in case you weren’t quite catching on to how awesomely evil he is– every time he comes into frame, the creepy music from LOST starts playing.

Back to narrator (Francis) for a cheerful interlude before everything goes to hell.

Narrator (Francis) and his friend encounter Jane. It is awkward. Narrator (Francis) then cheerfully (and rather bluntly) announces “We both love her, but no matter how she chooses, let us remain friends.” Awww… “Bros before hos” is alive and well in Germany. You think to yourself for a moment that this could have been an adorable little german sitcom– a goofy Three’s A Company… except for the murder.

caligari post impressionist

My world is a geometric hellscape! Living in a post-impressionist painting blows : (

Some citizen is murdered in his little post-impressionist home with (and I quote) a “strange pointed object.”

Ummm… do Germans not know what knives are?

Back to the dastardly Dr. Calgari who now has an exhibit at the fair: “Cesare, the Somnambulist!” Apparently, Cesare has been sleeping for his entire life but whatevs ‘cos he can also tell the future!

As long as that future involves your death and Cesare murdering you.du musst caligari werden

(The fortunes are kind of fixed in that way.)

Cesare then tells Narrator (Francis)’s friend his fortune. Narrator friend dies and Narrator (Francis) undergoes a very intense german grief– throwing himself onto every piece of post-impressionist furniture he has.

In a seemingly irrelevant scene, Jane’s father is missing. Where does she look for clues? The fair! (of course). Who does she enlist to help her find them? The police? Narrator (Francis)? Nope. She goes straight to the fair and asks a carny. Naturally. (Homegirl is not too bright).

The carny is Dr. Caligari! (Homegirl is going to die)!

The next scene is Jane asleep in her post-impressionist bed and Cesare is coming to kill her with a strange pointed object (a knife). Overcome by her beauty and innocence– he is unable to kill her and kidnaps her instead. Cue chase scene over post impressionist roofs and through post impressionist fields (because EVERY German movie has a chase/ mob scene).

I kidnapped her... because of true love... and because I'm CRAAAAAA-ZAAAAY!

I kidnapped her… because of true love… and because I’m CRAAAAAA-ZAAAAY!

After a hearty chase, Cesare dies of a fall and Jane becomes irrelevant again.

Narrator (Francis) and his band of police men (who follow him for some reason) renew their determination to capture Caligari! (This is after they let Caligari escape… because they are busy looking at a mannequin… Caligari just walks away. Seriously). Narrator (Francis) chases the carny to the insane asylum.

It seems to be a dead end until they find Caligari’s black magic books describing in detail the possibility of binding a somnambulist to your will and getting him to do horrid deeds that he would not otherwise do.

They then read his diary, which begins sinisterly enough: “Dear Diary…” (It’s nice to see that Caligari introduces murder using the same gripping narrative teenage girls do.)

He ends up admitting that he has bound a somnambulist to his will and made him do horrid deeds that he would not otherwise do.

Enter Caligari.

Surrounded by his peers who now know about his horrid crimes– Caligari attempts to escape by choking everyone who stands in his way. Now– I know that he is crazy, but I’m just saying– if you want to escape from a room– individual stranglings are probably the worst way to go.

He is sent to a post-impressionist hospital room for the rest of his days.

So now we have learned– “Things not to do in an insane asylum: act insane.”

There is a twist at the end of the film that makes the story much more awesome. None of this M. Night Shyamalan nonsense– it is a genuine twist and you see why this movie is in the pantheon of classic horror movies. This movie is where Tim Burton, Alfred Hitchcock, and Romero got their inspiration.

The entire movie is here (sadly without the artistic title cards) but if you want a quick taste of the style the movie was shot in, Rob Zombie also did a music video that was completely inspired by “Dr. Caligari.”

SO, in summation, German silent film is crazy… crazy awesome.

Stuff That Happened This Week (May 6-13)

15 May

TOO MANY BIRDS STHTW

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A weekly collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

**This is late (cos I’ve had a lot of shows recently) but still quality! SO ENJOY!!**

DI Cool Stuff BarGin Is The Best Because Of Reasons! ~ In my experience (experience here meaning unapologetic drinker of gin) gin gets a lot of undeserved slander. I blame Hogarth. The New York Times ran an article titled Gin Doesn’t Make You Sad. I read it thinking it might reveal some amazing scientific discovery about my favorite liquor (I don’t need science to know that gin is amazing, but for everyone criticizing my drink of choice, sometimes it’s nice to throw science in their face). The article is basically one person’s discovery that gin wasn’t making him sad… his life was. Yikes. Anyway… gin is awesome. The key to establishing something as a scientific fact is the ability to replicate an experiment and that yields consistent results. FACT: Gin is fun and delicious EVERY TIME! (That’s right– I’m drinking for SCIENCE!)    [The New York Times]

In Terms Of Awesome Space News– CANADA IS KILLING IT!! ~ So, two weeks ago, Canada announced they were redesigning their $5 bill and putting astronauts on it. Which is awesome (WHY DON’T WE HAVE SPACE MONEY, AMERICA??). Chris Hadfield, the commander of Expedition 35, returned to earth on the 15th of May, after a six month long mission in space. He will be returning with Roman Romanenko (RSA) and Thomas Marshburn (NASA/USA!). Astronauts are clearly very cool. What makes Chris Hadfield double cool? Right before he came back to earth, HE DID A COVER OF DAVID BOWIE’S “SPACE ODDITY”– IN SPACE.  [Space.com]

DI other stuff bar

– You can’t really be punk when you are attending a gala at the MET. [Jaded Punk]

– Just in case you were wondering how to ask if “you can touch someone’s butt” in elvish. [Tumblr]

– “How to Converse Properly.” A collection of quotes from old etiquette books. [Mental Floss]

  • “Avoid any air of mystery when speaking to those next to you; it is ill-bred and in excessively bad taste.”
  • “Never gesticulate in every day conversation, unless you wish to be mistaken for a fifth rate comedian.”
  • “Never ask a lady a question about anything.”

– Arya is the fastest growing name for girls. Arya (from the TV show Game of Thrones) is becoming a popular name. Given that Bella (the main character from Twilight) was the most popular name last year- it’s going to be interesting when all of these children grow up. It’s basically going to be like that weird epilogue in the Harry Potter books… except none of your children are wizards. [UPROXX]

– Your states highest paid employee is probably a coach. [Deadspin]

– “13 Creepiest Things A Child Has Ever Said To Their Parents.” Yeesh. Kids are so creepy. [Buzzfeed]

DI articles barDepression Part Two (Allie Brosh // Hyperbole & A Half)

How To Be Funny On Twitter, By Expert Funny Tweeter Megan Amram (Megan Amram // Vulture)

Jenny Johnson’s Mother’s Day Etiquette (Jenny Johnson // GQ)

DI videos bar

– Street Performer and kick-ass violinist, Bryson Andres performs “Secrets” and makes you wonder what you are doing with your life. Watch/listen. Tis awesome. [YouTube]

Portlandia sketch on the dangers of concept art [Hyperallergic]

DI trailers and tv news barThe World’s End  (trailer) — Simon Pegg and Nick Frost movie about a pub crawl in a city crawling with aliens.

Brooklyn Nine Nine (trailer) — New TV show on FOX starring Andy Samberg. (Also starring: Terry Crews, Joe Lo Truglio, and Chelsea Peretti).

Arrested Development (trailer for upcoming season on Netflix)

Sleepy Hollow (trailer) — New TV show on Fox

– What got on TV (and what got cut) [Business Insider]

13 May

GIF created by iwearastetsonnow

Just imagine me kick-punching my way across a rainbow (IT’S WHAT I ALWAYS DO!)

13 May

Stan Bush ~ “The Touch”