“Remember that time Chris Tucker opened for Jenny?”

1 May

Last week, I went to Georgia and it was pretty awesome. I met a person named Dorito, saw a post office that doubled as a jail, and performed on the same stage as Chris Tucker.

Yes. The that Chris Tucker.

The famous one.

Blayr and I were in Atlanta to perform at the Laughing Skull. Laughing Skull is a pretty sweet comedy club in downtown Atlanta. They have some pretty prestigious comics perform there. We were performing at the open mic (and even then there is a long list to get a spot).

Laughing Skull also really pushes the skeleton motif to the limit. There are skeletons everywhere.

skeleton over stage

Have a great show… also– I’m going to haunt your dreams for the next month or so. Break a leg!

There is even a terrifying demon skeleton with laser eyes that crouches right above the stage. It is just hovering over you the entire time you are performing.

Three comics into the show, Blayr said we could go backstage. I don’t know how she managed that, because there weren’t any other comics hanging out behind stage (I guess she’s just cool like that…?). Whatever. I don’t question her mad skills anymore.

Behind stage, there was a small lounge/greenroom where the four of us basically sat in a tense silence.

I endeared myself to the host by asking where we were in the line-up every seven minutes (hosts LOVE THAT).

He looked like he was nearing the end of his patience around the 24th time, so I went out behind the stage and did some stretches.

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Famous Comedian Lenny Bruce and Almost-Famous Comedian Blayr Nias.

I stretch before shows because one of my teachers told us a story about a student who was so nervous during a presentation, she locked her legs and passed out midway through. Which sounds horrifying. As someone who lip-sycnced through all of my school recitals to further minimize my contribution, the idea of my body completely betraying me and thrusting me into the spotlight is my number one nightmare come to life.

So I stretch.

Anyway, right before I’m supposed to go on, a guy in a baseball cap came backstage flanked by two other dudes. The guy wearing a baseball cap was smiling and just radiating confidence. I couldn’t see who it was but he shook my hand and in that moment, I knew that he was going on stage next.

He knew it too.

I didn’t know who he was- but he had a posse, for chrissake. Of course he was going on stage next.

If you don’t know Chris Tucker, he is an incredibly energetic fella– like a tiger on cocaine.

I am not incredibly energetic.

There is absolutely no reason I need to stretch before my set. There is little to no movement involved when I am on stage. If they could, small birds would roost on my shoulder.

Chris Tucker did about 20 minutes of material. Judging from the gales of laughter I heard from the greenroom, I think he did well (I did not hear any of it because I was having a chat with the host and trying to make a good impression so he wouldn’t remember me as the moron who kept bothering him).

So, after Chris Tucker was finished with his set, I waited to go on stage (for reals this time). While the host was introducing me, someone in the audience called out, “I would hate to go on after Chris Tucker.”

Thanks, sir (read: asshat). That thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

To their credit, my three friends in the back started chanting “Jenny! Jenny! Jenny!

They get 8,492 karma points for being awesome (enjoy your next life as a dragon, you guys!).

My set went pretty well– and not just well considering I had to follow a celebrity. It went pretty well. I’m pretty sure that even the guy who thought I would suck was laughing (Haha! In your face, you doubting douchebag!).

So, yeah. From now on, I’m just going to say Chris Tucker opened for me.

I think he’ll be okay with that.

And even if he isn’t, it’s okay because he doesn’t know who the fuck I am.

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I’m Chris Tucker!

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4 Responses to ““Remember that time Chris Tucker opened for Jenny?””

  1. JB May 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm #

    Still pretty funny for a dyke. 😛 ❤

    • jchal85 May 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm #

      Awwwww, THANKS! I try.

      • Diesel May 3, 2013 at 12:01 am #

        why DON’T you have small birds roost on you during performances?

  2. jchal85 May 3, 2013 at 12:05 am #

    Diesel! Please do not remind me of things that will probably never be!!!!

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