Archive | February, 2014

Cross-country Adventures With Psycho Cat

14 Feb

I love my cat.

I’m not a crazy cat lady- I’m just crazy about my cat.

There is a subtle (BUT KEY) difference.

Recently, I had to move my cat (Tycho) 750+ miles and I was worried that such a massive change (combined with being in a car for 12 hours) would break his tiny little brain.*

(*This is a cat who used to flee in terror when he heard a toilet flush.)

So I did an extensive amount research in order to figure out how to get my cat to our destination without making all of his fur fall out.

But, naturally, every tip experts had was completely useless because Tycho is not a normal cat.

Below are tips for moving a cat cross-country (and if your cat is a total weirdo like Tycho is, there are also tips on how to move a Tycho cat cross-country).

cat01

*Tycho cat: Sure. You can try and stuff some sedatives in his mouth but it won’t matter*. Stress and anxiety will override the sedative. It WILL be adorable to see him try to walk in a straight line, though.

*NOTE: These were sedatives prescribed by the vet. I don’t just stuff pills into my cats mouth.

 

cat02

*Tycho cat: I mean, I did that and it might have helped- but he really seemed more interested in NEW scents… like the scent of my sandwich.

 

cat03

*Tycho cat: Naaaaaw. Let him wander throughout the car until he decides the safest place for him is underneath your feet.

ME: Tycho, that isn't safe! TYCHO: Yes, it is.

ME: Tycho, that isn’t safe!
TYCHO: Yes, it is.

I bought him a comfy new carrier for the trip. He didn’t hate the carrier- but he looked slightly panicked. To be fair, he had the same look before he was in the carrier so I think his panic stemmed more from the fact that he was drugged and that cats don’t understand what drugs are.

As soon as he got out of the carrier he crawled into my lap and looked up at me, as if to say, “DUDE, SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY!”

And, yes, towards the end he would not move from beneath my feet and yes, I know that is super dangerous. He got spooked as soon as we started driving in New York and I can’t blame him. New York has so many potholes, it’s like driving on the surface of the moon. PAVE YOUR ROADS, NEW YORK. South Carolina has better roads than New York (and I’m pretty sure some of roads are just dirt paths).

 

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*Tycho cat: Well jeez, he’s already wandering the car so this tip is kind of already completely pointless. His two favorite places: in my lap (SUPER convenient) and looking out a window. Apparently my cat is FASCINATED by semi-trucks. He loves them. We took a break at a rest stop  and were surrounded by them and he was overjoyed to see them in their natural habitat. 

(*The other thing that fascinated him: drive-thrus. He was momentarily perplexed that he couldn’t see who I was talking to when I was ordering- but then completely floored that said conversation resulted in food being shoved through the window. I think now he basically thinks I can speak to ghosts and they give me food.)

 

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Tycho cat: But if he is confined to one room, how will he be able to explore the entire house?!

So, yeah- pretty much the most universal tip for moving cats into a new place is “keep them in one room.” When we moved him into our last apartment, that’s exactly what we did and it worked perfect. This time, however, “timid” little Tycho was keen on exploring everything. Immediately.

tycho in the kitchen

Tycho in his new kitchen letting me know how it’s gonna be.