AWKWARD BABY BIRDS!

26 Apr

I present to you, AWKWARD BABY BIRDS!

This isn’t just another list of cute birds.

This post required actual research (take note Buzzfeed).

I don’t know anything about birds, so identifying birds is a nightmare.

Plus most times, when you see a picture of a bird on the internet, the caption just reads “CUUUuuuuUUuTE!” which is NOT helpful if you are trying to figure out the species.

Enjoy (This list was a pain to assemble).

 

Baby Potoo! (Baby “Nyctibius griseus”)

Picture taken by Pascal Dubois. http://pdubois.free.fr

Picture taken by Pascal Dubois. http://pdubois.free.fr

This guy lives in Central/South America and will only grow up to look weirder.

 

Baby Great Egret! (Baby “Ardea alba”)

Photo from Animal Planet

Photo from Animal Planet

Here’s another picture of a baby great egret.

During my search for birds, I learned that egrets are a type of heron. I also found that ALL baby herons are awkward. All of them: Baby Night Heron, Baby Green Herons, and Baby Tri-Colored Heron (with poop on his head) to name a few.

 

Baby Black Browed Albatross (Baby “Thalassarche melanophrys“)

baby albatross

Photo from Steve Bloom Images

If you search for “Baby Albatross”, all the pictures are adorable and awkward (here’s one of a baby albatross that barfed all over himself). This is basically a fantastic “before and after” picture. This scraggly little chick is going to become a beautifully flawless bird.

 

Baby Little Bittern (Baby “Ixobrychus minutus”)

Photo by Alex Lavashkin.

Photo by Alex Lavashkin.

 

Baby Sandhill Crane (Baby “Grus canadensis”)

baby sandhill crane

Photo by Scott Helfrich (this photo was one of the winners in the 2012 National Wildlife Photo Contest)

AArgh. He’s so cute. This little guy was the inspiration for the whole post. He’s my favorite little bird. Here are more pictures if you don’t believe me (how dare you). Running birds!, baby bird with dad, free ride.

Winter: A Pointless Regional Survey (aka: Go home, winter!)

5 Mar

Recently, I moved from Greensboro, NC to Boston.

By “recently”, I mean that my lease started in January- which meant I moved just in time to experience Boston’s first cold snap (and the fourteen other subsequent cold snaps).

With all the insane winter storms Massachusetts has been hit with, I’ve gotten a number of texts from people outside of Boston telling me to, “Stay safe!” and that they “hope I’m okay!” which makes me think all of my friends picture me wandering outside in the winter snow, lost and confused.

I’m FINE! I have access to shelter, you guys!

(Also, I live within walking distance of a crepe shop. Life is pretty good.)

It’s different though. Having spent the last eight years in North Carolina, this weather is confusing and disorienting.

Once I came home, and there was a pillar of ice 8″ thick on the ground in front of my door. I naively wondered where it came from until I realized- IT CAME FROM THE SKY. Above me were icicles hanging off the roof the size of me. People in Boston don’t immediately understand why I’m half hysterical when I tell this story. It’s insane because in Greensboro, when there WERE icicles– THEY WERE ADORABLE! They accented the house. It was as if someone bought a string of them at K-Mart. Also, they weren’t able to kill me.

Bostonians are completely blasé about snow. There has been a “snow emergency” at least once a week for the past four weeks- but there seems to be absolutely no sense of urgency attached to the announcement. Other than the schools closing, it’s really just to let everyone know that they have to move their car.01 move asshole

01 everything is on fire

I’ve watched North Carolina deal with this winter from afar and the result hasn’t been surprising. North Carolina is the only place where it can snow and suddenly EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE. When it snowed in Greensboro, it was a cause for celebration. An inch of snow could bring the city to grinding halt. Kids would get school off and you would get an excuse to miss work (and the bars would remain open and be within walking distance).

Meanwhile, Boston has been under a perpetual foot of snow and everything has been fine. We have had some “warm” days, so it’s starting to melt (which basically means everything is either ice or a deep puddle of freezing sludge. Nothing in between).

This weather has been intense. While the Bostonians I have met are unfazed by everything happening around them, they are instantly apologetic once they hear I just moved here.

This is a conversation I’ve had several times:

ME: I’m from North Carolina, so this weather is… different.

THEM: Yeah, I’m sorry- it isn’t usually this bad.

ME: I forgive you.

Cross-country Adventures With Psycho Cat

14 Feb

I love my cat.

I’m not a crazy cat lady- I’m just crazy about my cat.

There is a subtle (BUT KEY) difference.

Recently, I had to move my cat (Tycho) 750+ miles and I was worried that such a massive change (combined with being in a car for 12 hours) would break his tiny little brain.*

(*This is a cat who used to flee in terror when he heard a toilet flush.)

So I did an extensive amount research in order to figure out how to get my cat to our destination without making all of his fur fall out.

But, naturally, every tip experts had was completely useless because Tycho is not a normal cat.

Below are tips for moving a cat cross-country (and if your cat is a total weirdo like Tycho is, there are also tips on how to move a Tycho cat cross-country).

cat01

*Tycho cat: Sure. You can try and stuff some sedatives in his mouth but it won’t matter*. Stress and anxiety will override the sedative. It WILL be adorable to see him try to walk in a straight line, though.

*NOTE: These were sedatives prescribed by the vet. I don’t just stuff pills into my cats mouth.

 

cat02

*Tycho cat: I mean, I did that and it might have helped- but he really seemed more interested in NEW scents… like the scent of my sandwich.

 

cat03

*Tycho cat: Naaaaaw. Let him wander throughout the car until he decides the safest place for him is underneath your feet.

ME: Tycho, that isn't safe! TYCHO: Yes, it is.

ME: Tycho, that isn’t safe!
TYCHO: Yes, it is.

I bought him a comfy new carrier for the trip. He didn’t hate the carrier- but he looked slightly panicked. To be fair, he had the same look before he was in the carrier so I think his panic stemmed more from the fact that he was drugged and that cats don’t understand what drugs are.

As soon as he got out of the carrier he crawled into my lap and looked up at me, as if to say, “DUDE, SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY!”

And, yes, towards the end he would not move from beneath my feet and yes, I know that is super dangerous. He got spooked as soon as we started driving in New York and I can’t blame him. New York has so many potholes, it’s like driving on the surface of the moon. PAVE YOUR ROADS, NEW YORK. South Carolina has better roads than New York (and I’m pretty sure some of roads are just dirt paths).

 

cat04

*Tycho cat: Well jeez, he’s already wandering the car so this tip is kind of already completely pointless. His two favorite places: in my lap (SUPER convenient) and looking out a window. Apparently my cat is FASCINATED by semi-trucks. He loves them. We took a break at a rest stop  and were surrounded by them and he was overjoyed to see them in their natural habitat. 

(*The other thing that fascinated him: drive-thrus. He was momentarily perplexed that he couldn’t see who I was talking to when I was ordering- but then completely floored that said conversation resulted in food being shoved through the window. I think now he basically thinks I can speak to ghosts and they give me food.)

 

cat05

Tycho cat: But if he is confined to one room, how will he be able to explore the entire house?!

So, yeah- pretty much the most universal tip for moving cats into a new place is “keep them in one room.” When we moved him into our last apartment, that’s exactly what we did and it worked perfect. This time, however, “timid” little Tycho was keen on exploring everything. Immediately.

tycho in the kitchen

Tycho in his new kitchen letting me know how it’s gonna be.

Stuff That Happened!

23 Dec

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IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff BarA WEEK WHERE NOBODY LEARNED ANY LESSONS!!! ~ Welp- it was an exciting week in “STORIES THAT FLOODED MY FACEBOOK FEED WITH UNASKED FOR OPINIONS.” It started with Megyn Kelly saying that “Santa… is white.” Kelly said this during a discussion over an article that was published at Slate entitled Santa Claus Should Not Be A White Man Anymore. The ensuing shitstorm was epic. A million articles were written about why Megyn Kelly’s remarks were awful. The lesson everyone SHOULD have learned was: NEVER EVER ENGAGE ANYONE AT SLATE!! They LIVE for that, you guys! When FoxNews contacted them to do a segment, I imagine everyone at Slate experienced a collective orgasm. Technically, I agree with Slate on most issues and I STILL always leave the site in a spluttering rage. Slate writes articles with the sole purpose of upsetting you (why else would they have AN ENTIRE TAG entitled “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!? Really, Slate? I’m doing grilled cheese wrong? I DOUBT IT, you arrogant assholes.). [ThinkProgress]

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN IS COMING FOR YOU!~ Following in George W. Bush’s footsteps, George Zimmerman has turned to art therapy to quiet the demons in his life. Zimmerman recently put a painting he did on Ebay in hopes that the sale would help him combat his financial woes (i.e. MASSIVE COURT COSTS). In the description of the painting, Zimmerman says, “My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors 🙂.” The smiley emoticon at the end isn’t me editorializing- that’s Zimmerman being all cute and jokesy (it’s hilarious because he gets in SUCH PREDICAMENTS when he leaves his house!). Zimmerman isn’t going to remain indoors forever though. The person who has the winning bid on Ebay gets a DOUBLE treat because Zimmerman has promised to deliver the painting to their door. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?   [NY MAG]

BROOKLYN IS NAMED LESBIAN CAPITAL OF THE NORTHEAST~ Marty Markowitz declared Brooklyn, NY “The Lesbian Capital of the Northeast!” Marty Markowitz (I CAN ONLY SAY HIS FULL NAME) is the Borough President of Brooklyn… which I didn’t know was a thing. It should be noted that this statement was issued with pride (no pun intended). Marty Markowitz believes that lesbians have, “made unbelievable contributions to the quality of life in our city and our borough” (awwww). Brooklyn beat out Amherst, Northampton, Manhattan, and Provincetown– and from what I can determine– NO ONE HAS TRIED TO CORRECT HIM! Who knew Borough President carried such authority?! WHY STOP THERE, MARTY MARKOWITZ? How about lesbian capital of THE UNITED STATES! THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE! THE WORLD!!! [Gothamist]

DI other stuff bar

– I WANT THIS KID’S CHILDHOOD! [ViralNova]

– “Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie” [Mental Floss]

– “40 Most Insane Things That Happened This Year In Florida” [Buzzfeed]

– “Royal Burn” a mashup by Bvnny [Bvnny]

– “A Treasury of Children’s Insane Christmas Wish Lists” [Deadspin]

The Daily Show correspondent, Jessica Williams, interviewed a sad little man from Forbes and asked him how his political policy (i.e. taking away after-school lunch programs for poor children/SNAP) was different from The Hunger Games.  (SPOILER: IT ISN’T THAT DIFFERENT, YOU GUYS!) This is a GIF set of the best part of the interview and you can see the entire interview here. [The Daily Show]

– 50 Awesome Quotes by Neil DeGrasse Tyson [TwistedSifter]

– The best punishment for politicians who don’t believe in science [Upworthy]

– Artist transforms her apartment into intricate dreamscapes. These are amazing! All I can turn my room into is the junk yard from Labyrinth. [Colossal]

– Beautiful comic about winter. It reminds me of The Snowman– but for adults. [Buzzfeed]

DI articles barWill Ferrell and Adam McKay talk about Anchorman and how it strays from “the rules of comedy”  (Terry Gross // NPR)

Inside the Box: People Don’t Actually Like Creativity (Jessica Olien // Slate)

‘Slut-Shaming’ Has Been Tossed Around So Much, It’s Lost All Meaning (Callie Beusman // Jezebel)

George Carlin on How He Came Up With His Material, Advice To Young Comedians, and His Influence (Larry Getlen // Splitsider)

DI videos bar– Penguin Falls Down [YouTube]

– How to Read Science News [It’s Okay To Be Smart]

– “Proof That Every Country Song Was Exactly The Same In 2013” [Buzzfeed]

– “Dance of the Snowflakes” from SNL. This is basically my experience with performing stand-up comedy distilled into a 4 minute skit. Also- John Goodman makes an excellent snowflake. [SNL]


DI trailers and tv news bar

  • Judd Apatow is teaming up with Keegen-Michael Key and Jordan Peele (from Key & Peele) to make (WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME WILL BE) an awesome movie [Bleeding Cool]
  • J.K. Rowling is writing a play that will serve as a prequel for the Harry Potter books [Daily Mail]
  • BriTANick might get a movie [Variety]
  • Jennifer Saunders says she wants to write a movie for Absolutely Fabulous. Now, all that is left to do, is peer-pressure her until she delivers. [Jezebel]

Stuff That Happened!

15 Dec

STH Adventure_time.rpg

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff BarHELLO! Usually “Cool Stuff” is one or two (or THREE if I’m feeling super ambitious) interesting stories that I write and comment on. There were several stories I posted earlier this week that basically fall under this category. They are awesome stories about heroic Canadians, badass scientists, aaaaand terrifying arctic monsters. Read them… and let me know what you think.


DI other stuff bar
– “Rise and Fall of the Fox Civilization in Disney Films” (The Toast)

– “40 Maps That Will Help You Make Sense of the World” (Twisted Sifter)

– “Truth & Lies” Poster Series by Justin Barber – The lies we tell every day… and what we really mean (UFunk)

– “Your Friend Made a Dubstep Album for Toddlers. How To Sound Genuine When He Plays It For You” (McSweeney’s)

– National Geographic Photo Contests:

– Laughing Owls (Buzzfeed)

 

DI articles barSix Things Nelson Mandela Believed That Most People Won’t Talk About (Aviva Shen & Judd Legum // ThinkProgress)

The Rule of Emperors (Bill Moyers // UTNE)

Your Spirit Animal Is Here (Mallory Ortberg // The Toast)

Excerpt from “You’re So Controlling” (Maria Konnikova // The New York Times)

 

DI videos bar– “Katniss Everdeen Kills Everything” [Pleated-Jeans]

– Carl Sagan on the importance of Science in democracy. It’s basically your civic duty to be an informed and critically thinking person. [Upworthy]

– “A Cheetah and a Dog frolic together in the snow.” YOU ARE WELCOME. [UPROXX]

– Germans try to pronounce the word “squirrel” [Laughing Squid]

– Amy Poehler and Billy Eichner coerce NYC pedestrians to sing Christmas Carols with them [Jezebel]

– Paul Rudd has been pranking Conan for the past 15 years [Pajiba]

 

DI trailers and tv news bar

  • Ed Helms will star in The Naked Gun reboot [Variety]
  • Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were guest editors for this weeks issue of Entertainment Weekly [EW]
  • Sarah Silverman is interviewed about her new special “We Are Miracles” [Vulture]

Awesome Story Roundup!

12 Dec

CANADIANS ARE SO FRIENDLY- THEY HELP SHARKS IN NEED! (Huffington Post) Two Canadians saw a shark who was choking on a moose and they rushed in to save the sharks life.

You guys! So much is happening in this story it is unreal.

Frankly, I did not think Canada had a lot of sharks (I was wrong). The shark that these dashing Canucks saved was a Greenland Shark and it is basically a hideous monster that eats polar bears, looks like a terrifying statue come to life, and lives forever. If I saw this beast- I would run screaming in the other direction. Luckily, these two guys felt compelled to help their shark brother and yanked the bit of moose out of the shark’s throat. I will repeat that. They had to remove the MOOSE from the SHARK’S throat. A meeting between these two animals would normally only occur in my worst nightmares (Moose are TERRIFYING!!  They are flippin’ BIG, you guys!).

So now, thanks to these brave lads from the North, this formidable creature is alive and well and will be waiting for you in the cold dark arctic seas. THANKS, CANADA!

—-

WOMEN DOING AWESOME FANTASTICAL DEEDS! (The Toast) While you were living your boring life– six women were quietly having astonishing adventures that basically made Indiana Jones and Lara Croft look like Dora the Explorer.

In order to assemble the perfect team, an archeological expedition did a search for the most highly qualified scientists in the land. In order to be a part of this special bone-finding operation– you had to have a very particular set of skills which included being blindingly brilliant, having no fear, being physically and mentally invincible, and being total nerds when they casually discover bones in what is apparently one of the most lucrative finds in archaeology. Basically they needed to be the freaking Avengers of Archaeology. When it came down to it– the most badass people turned out to be ladies:

Fifty-seven qualified researchers applied for the job. Six were chosen: Lindsay Eaves, Marina Elliott, Elen Feuerriegel, Alia Gurtov, Hannah Morris and Becca Peixotto.

“It ended up that the most qualified human beings on this planet to do this very dangerous, very remarkable job were young women,” Berger said in a video profile of the “underground astronauts.” (NBC News)

Wonderful.

You can follow the Rising Star Expedition and learn about all of their findings over the course of the excavation here.

—-

HARVARD STUDENTS DON’T KNOW THE CAPITAL OF CANADA (AND WE ALL LAUGH AT THEM FOR NOT KNOWING THINGS)! (Canada) Students at Harvard were asked to name the capital of Canada and pretty much no one knew the answer. Haha- what a bunch of dummies. While the sample size was pretty small, it wasn’t some outsider’s attempt to humiliate Harvard kids. The video was put together by The Harvard Crimson. Well done, guys. (Ottawa is the capital of Canada… more Canadian Fun Facts here).

This is what EVERY Bon Iver song sounds like to me…

11 Dec

“I Got Stuck” ~ Kollektivet

Poor fella.

 

If you want more Kollektivet, check these songs out. Between Ylvis and Kollektivet, Norway is winning at fun songs.