Tag Archives: awesomeness
Image 30 Jun

lucas

I know kung-fu…

24 Oct

punch stuff until it blows upYou guys, here is how to make friends and it works at any age (even when your 29 and it’s freaking hard): speak unabashedly and enthusiastically about things that interest and excite you and create a safe place for people to do the same. And start doing it early in the conversation– like almost inappropriately early.

Who cares about where they work or what their name is.

Figure out what really excites them as quickly as possible and then proceed to enjoy your totally awesome conversation with your new best friend.

Make a connection!

You can figure out their name later.

That’s how I found MY new best friend (I think his name is Matt).

We bonded over kung-fu and punching (as long as it is for a righteous cause).

Later, he sent me THE BEST email in the history of life which began thusly:

“Heyo! Your set tonight was unreal, and you are the best person. Here are some movies in which people express their emotions via punching.”

BOOM! THIS IS HOW FRIENDSHIPS ARE FORGED, PEOPLE!

What followed was a list of movies introducing me to the wonderful world of “emotional punching”: Ong- Bak 1 &2ChocolateThe ProtectorShaolin Soccer

If you look at the movie summaries, they are all kind of similar. They all share many of the same key words and phrases: “dutiful son”, “betrayal”, “left for dead”, “corrupt official”, “crime syndicate”, and “to avenge his father’s death.”

I had a kung-fu marathon shortly after– and I quickly realized, kung-fu is freaking awesome.

So are muay thai and boxing.

You know what else is awesome?

Gingerly leaping from tree branch to tree branch in order to chase down (and eventually beat down) the crime lord who killed your parents.

And after a week of watching movies like Ong-Bak and Chocolate, I don’t know if I can go back to watching movies where a child DOESN’T fight (and kill) a crocodile in the first 10 minutes of the movie.

(NOTE: I should clarify: in real life, fighting does not interest me and guns terrify me. In movies, however, the hero needs to be punching people with his righteous fists and carrying the biggest gun possible. HE’S FIGHTING EVIL! It’s irresponsible for him to do anything less.)

After my marathon, I definitely learned some things:

  1. If you say, “I am a GOD” and you are not a god, you will definitely be killed. Probably by a God.
  2. Anyone who beats up on someone’s mom is going to die by the end of the film. Hard.
  3. Wire-work/CGI is for losers. Do backflips across a river of lava using your muscles and willpower– OR DON’T DO IT AT ALL!
  4. Do a bunch of parkour on a herd of stampeding elephants. Not only will those around you recognize your oneness with nature, you are now the elephant king!
  5. You are a fool if you think autism would prevent you from being a muay thai master. A FOOL!
  6. Children who kill crocodiles with their bare hands will grow up to break up slavery rings and fight corrupt kings.

So, yeah– I like kung-fu and Matt is my friend now.

And it all happened because I asked someone I just met, “What are your thoughts on violence?”

Stuff That Happened. Also, I’m back!

10 Oct


stuff that happened bird

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff BarJONATHAN FRANZEN LEARNS TO SMILE!!!!! ~ Jonathan Franzen is the novelist who wrote The Corrections and Freedom. Additionally, because of several essays detailing his disdain for twittere-books, and the modern world— he’s also revealed himself to be a huge grumpy-bus. So it was surprising/refreshing to read an interview Franzen conducted in which he’s actually HAPPY about something. Franzen finds his German equivalent and they talk about how everyone is stupid but them. Whatever makes you happy you adorable little curmudgeon! [Salon]

HARRIET TUBMAN KNEW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ROWDY KIDS! ~ Drug them! How else will they stay quiet?! (NOTE: My mom used the same method when she had to take us on long car rides.) [Mental Floss]

DI other stuff bar– “wicked chivalrous!” a cartoon by Kate Beaton [Hark! A Vagrant!]

– A chart that diagrams how the brilliant minds and geniuses of our time spent their day. (NOTE: There is no information on how much time each of them spent blogging) [Mic]

– “Anti-Oppressive Baby Animals” combines social justice with adorable animals. Is it oversimplifying complex issues? Maybe. BUT LOOK AT THEIR FUZZY WUZZY FACES! [Anti-Oppressive Baby Animals]

– “10 Female Gangsters”… just in case you want to know about women who are also criminals [Mental Floss]

– Lea DeLaria plays Boo on the series Orange is the New Black. In these two pics, she just plays an adorable person. [Tumblr]

– Amazing picture of Florida at night taken from the International Space Station [imgur]

DI articles barThe Scourge of “Relatability” (Rebecca Mead // The New Yorker)

Poet Patricia Lockwood Dreams of Roasted Pturkeydactyls (Sierra Tishgart // The New Yorker)

Not Just Another Wednesday Night (Erin Judge // So Make It Up)

DI videos bar– Sita Sings the Blues is a full length movie on Hulu (though enterprising folk could probably find it elsewhere) that is an animated/musical take on The Ramayana, an ancient Indian epic detailing the trials and (mostly) tribulations of Rama and Sita. [Hulu]

– In honor of The Simpsons marathon that happened, here is one of my favorite clips ever (“TRAMAMPOLINE TRAMBOPOLINE”) [Tumblr]

 

AWKWARD BABY BIRDS!

26 Apr

I present to you, AWKWARD BABY BIRDS!

This isn’t just another list of cute birds.

This post required actual research (take note Buzzfeed).

I don’t know anything about birds, so identifying birds is a nightmare.

Plus most times, when you see a picture of a bird on the internet, the caption just reads “CUUUuuuuUUuTE!” which is NOT helpful if you are trying to figure out the species.

Enjoy (This list was a pain to assemble).

 

Baby Potoo! (Baby “Nyctibius griseus”)

Picture taken by Pascal Dubois. http://pdubois.free.fr

Picture taken by Pascal Dubois. http://pdubois.free.fr

This guy lives in Central/South America and will only grow up to look weirder.

 

Baby Great Egret! (Baby “Ardea alba”)

Photo from Animal Planet

Photo from Animal Planet

Here’s another picture of a baby great egret.

During my search for birds, I learned that egrets are a type of heron. I also found that ALL baby herons are awkward. All of them: Baby Night Heron, Baby Green Herons, and Baby Tri-Colored Heron (with poop on his head) to name a few.

 

Baby Black Browed Albatross (Baby “Thalassarche melanophrys“)

baby albatross

Photo from Steve Bloom Images

If you search for “Baby Albatross”, all the pictures are adorable and awkward (here’s one of a baby albatross that barfed all over himself). This is basically a fantastic “before and after” picture. This scraggly little chick is going to become a beautifully flawless bird.

 

Baby Little Bittern (Baby “Ixobrychus minutus”)

Photo by Alex Lavashkin.

Photo by Alex Lavashkin.

 

Baby Sandhill Crane (Baby “Grus canadensis”)

baby sandhill crane

Photo by Scott Helfrich (this photo was one of the winners in the 2012 National Wildlife Photo Contest)

AArgh. He’s so cute. This little guy was the inspiration for the whole post. He’s my favorite little bird. Here are more pictures if you don’t believe me (how dare you). Running birds!, baby bird with dad, free ride.

Stuff That Happened!

23 Dec

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IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff BarA WEEK WHERE NOBODY LEARNED ANY LESSONS!!! ~ Welp- it was an exciting week in “STORIES THAT FLOODED MY FACEBOOK FEED WITH UNASKED FOR OPINIONS.” It started with Megyn Kelly saying that “Santa… is white.” Kelly said this during a discussion over an article that was published at Slate entitled Santa Claus Should Not Be A White Man Anymore. The ensuing shitstorm was epic. A million articles were written about why Megyn Kelly’s remarks were awful. The lesson everyone SHOULD have learned was: NEVER EVER ENGAGE ANYONE AT SLATE!! They LIVE for that, you guys! When FoxNews contacted them to do a segment, I imagine everyone at Slate experienced a collective orgasm. Technically, I agree with Slate on most issues and I STILL always leave the site in a spluttering rage. Slate writes articles with the sole purpose of upsetting you (why else would they have AN ENTIRE TAG entitled “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!? Really, Slate? I’m doing grilled cheese wrong? I DOUBT IT, you arrogant assholes.). [ThinkProgress]

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN IS COMING FOR YOU!~ Following in George W. Bush’s footsteps, George Zimmerman has turned to art therapy to quiet the demons in his life. Zimmerman recently put a painting he did on Ebay in hopes that the sale would help him combat his financial woes (i.e. MASSIVE COURT COSTS). In the description of the painting, Zimmerman says, “My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors 🙂.” The smiley emoticon at the end isn’t me editorializing- that’s Zimmerman being all cute and jokesy (it’s hilarious because he gets in SUCH PREDICAMENTS when he leaves his house!). Zimmerman isn’t going to remain indoors forever though. The person who has the winning bid on Ebay gets a DOUBLE treat because Zimmerman has promised to deliver the painting to their door. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?   [NY MAG]

BROOKLYN IS NAMED LESBIAN CAPITAL OF THE NORTHEAST~ Marty Markowitz declared Brooklyn, NY “The Lesbian Capital of the Northeast!” Marty Markowitz (I CAN ONLY SAY HIS FULL NAME) is the Borough President of Brooklyn… which I didn’t know was a thing. It should be noted that this statement was issued with pride (no pun intended). Marty Markowitz believes that lesbians have, “made unbelievable contributions to the quality of life in our city and our borough” (awwww). Brooklyn beat out Amherst, Northampton, Manhattan, and Provincetown– and from what I can determine– NO ONE HAS TRIED TO CORRECT HIM! Who knew Borough President carried such authority?! WHY STOP THERE, MARTY MARKOWITZ? How about lesbian capital of THE UNITED STATES! THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE! THE WORLD!!! [Gothamist]

DI other stuff bar

– I WANT THIS KID’S CHILDHOOD! [ViralNova]

– “Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie” [Mental Floss]

– “40 Most Insane Things That Happened This Year In Florida” [Buzzfeed]

– “Royal Burn” a mashup by Bvnny [Bvnny]

– “A Treasury of Children’s Insane Christmas Wish Lists” [Deadspin]

The Daily Show correspondent, Jessica Williams, interviewed a sad little man from Forbes and asked him how his political policy (i.e. taking away after-school lunch programs for poor children/SNAP) was different from The Hunger Games.  (SPOILER: IT ISN’T THAT DIFFERENT, YOU GUYS!) This is a GIF set of the best part of the interview and you can see the entire interview here. [The Daily Show]

– 50 Awesome Quotes by Neil DeGrasse Tyson [TwistedSifter]

– The best punishment for politicians who don’t believe in science [Upworthy]

– Artist transforms her apartment into intricate dreamscapes. These are amazing! All I can turn my room into is the junk yard from Labyrinth. [Colossal]

– Beautiful comic about winter. It reminds me of The Snowman– but for adults. [Buzzfeed]

DI articles barWill Ferrell and Adam McKay talk about Anchorman and how it strays from “the rules of comedy”  (Terry Gross // NPR)

Inside the Box: People Don’t Actually Like Creativity (Jessica Olien // Slate)

‘Slut-Shaming’ Has Been Tossed Around So Much, It’s Lost All Meaning (Callie Beusman // Jezebel)

George Carlin on How He Came Up With His Material, Advice To Young Comedians, and His Influence (Larry Getlen // Splitsider)

DI videos bar– Penguin Falls Down [YouTube]

– How to Read Science News [It’s Okay To Be Smart]

– “Proof That Every Country Song Was Exactly The Same In 2013” [Buzzfeed]

– “Dance of the Snowflakes” from SNL. This is basically my experience with performing stand-up comedy distilled into a 4 minute skit. Also- John Goodman makes an excellent snowflake. [SNL]


DI trailers and tv news bar

  • Judd Apatow is teaming up with Keegen-Michael Key and Jordan Peele (from Key & Peele) to make (WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME WILL BE) an awesome movie [Bleeding Cool]
  • J.K. Rowling is writing a play that will serve as a prequel for the Harry Potter books [Daily Mail]
  • BriTANick might get a movie [Variety]
  • Jennifer Saunders says she wants to write a movie for Absolutely Fabulous. Now, all that is left to do, is peer-pressure her until she delivers. [Jezebel]

Stuff That Happened This Week (July 21-28)

30 Jul

buffy

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A weekly collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff Bar

 

ONLY WINNERS GET SPACE ROCKS, TIMMY!~ If you win at the 2014 Winter Olympics- you won’t be going for the gold– you’ll be going for the METEORITE THAT INJURED MANY AND LAYED WASTE TO EVERYTHING IN IT’S PATH! The medals at the olympics in Russia will be made out of the meteorite that landed in Chelyabinsk. MEDALS made out of a METEORITE! I’ve never wanted a medal so bad in my life. I also think that is very Russian: What should we do with the giant meteor that injured thousands and laid waste to an entire city? Break it down and give it away as prizes. That’s hella metal, Russia. [Geekosystem]

REMEMBER THAT TIME NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON DEFEATED THE ILLUMINATI AND THEN FLEW INTO SPACE?~ I remember (only because it’s a recurring dream of mine). Neil deGrasse Tyson is rebooting Carl Sagan’s The Cosmos. He’ll pick up where Sagan left off– teaching us all about science and making us kind of fall in love with it. But, if you DIDN’T know that before you saw the Cosmos trailer, you would just assume it was some sort of amazing choose-your-own-adventure starring Neil deGrasse Tyson. In MY version, Neil pilots a spaceship, goes back in time, fights off wolves, meets Galileo, goes to the FUTURE, triggers a bunch of explosions, and becomes the leader of The Resistance (where I’m sure he teaches them about science and the magic of the Universe). BADASS. Neil deGrasse Tyson makes The Doctor look like a chump. [TheMarySue]

 

DI other stuff bar

– 80 Photos of Old New York (1970-1989)~ I have a slight issue with their use of “old” but these photos are amazing. Also- New York was pretty much on fire all the time in the 70s and 80s. [Superchief]

– Republican Guide to Female Anatomy [Nerve]

– 27 Cats That Immediately Regret Their Decisions [Buzzfeed]

– What Species Did You Evolve From? [Matt Chase]

– Best headline this week: “To Save The Owls, US Government Plans To Kill Over 3,000 Owls” [Geekosystem]

 

DI articles bar

 

Everyone Is Staying Friends With Their Ex’s On Facebook (Katie Heaney // Buzzfeed)

How To Be An Atheist Without Being A Dick About It (Lindy West // Jezebel)

#WhiteHouseIftar and the Tactics of Activism (Fatemah Fakhraie // Racialicious)

 

DI videos bar

– White People Meet: A Dating site for whites only… wait. When I say it out loud it sounds bad…. [UCB Comedy]

– Daria Movie Trailer [College Humor]

– Supercut of SNL Cast Members Breaking Character [Slacktory]

– Animated version of “Defying Gravity” from the musical Wicked [Heidi Jo Gilbert on Vimeo]

Stuff That Happened This Week (July 7-14)

15 Jul

sthtw addams family

IN WHICH I FIND COOL STUFF ON THE INTERNET SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! 

A weekly collection of kickass stuff I find on the internet.

Cool Stuff // And Also… // Articles // Videos // Trailers & TV/Movie News

DI Cool Stuff BarTEXAS POLITICIANS ARE TERRIFIED OF TAMPONS~  Texas politicians gathered at the state capitol on Friday to vote on an anti-abortion bill (which passed). The weird thing, though, is state troopers were confiscating tampons and maxi-pads at security. That sounds crazy, right? Surely there must be more to the story! The super-sleuths over at Twitchy (a site Michelle Malkin started up that draws its news from Twitter) had more to say: “Pro-aborts Whine About Tampon Confiscation at Texas Capitol; Fail To Say The Reason.

Guns were still allowed because there were no reports that people were going to either throw or shoot them at legislators [Twitchy]

Alright… so there you have it. No one FORMALLY announced that they were going to shoot a senator in the face so NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT GUNS, YOU GUYS! Just to be clear- if people DID sneak in maxi-pads and tampons- the worst that would happen is that politicians would be embarrassed. Unless someone throws the entire BOX –there is very little chance of physical harm befalling anyone. Maxi-pads and tampons are mostly cotton. They are also super light. You can’t get enough velocity behind them to do any harm– unless you fashioned some sort of tampon nunchuck (which would be awesome and please do that someone!). WHEREAS- if someone forgot to let the world know that they were assassinating someone and brought in a gun- someone would probably legit die. Yeesh. In closing, enjoy this picture of Rick Santorum being pelted with tampons and maxi pads. [Huffington Post]

QUEERING UP MARVEL COMICS (because guys in tights just isn’t cutting it anymore)~ Andrew Garfield, the actor currently playing Spider-Man suggested Spider-man have a bi-racial boyfriend and everyone agreed with him and thought it was a great idea! Just kidding. They flipped their shit. Garfield was quoted as saying:

“What if MJ is a dude?’ Why can’t we discover that Peter is exploring his sexuality? It’s hardly even groundbreaking! So why can’t he be gay? Why can’t he be into boys?”

Spider-man could TOTALLY be into boys, you guys! He’s an attractive artsy type who lives in New York. AND YOU WOULD ONLY HAVE TO TWEEK THE THEME-SONG A LITTLE (Spider-man, Spider-man/your friendly bi-sexual Spider-man…). But people are HELLA sensitive about changes to the “traditional” Spider-man (“traditional” Spider-man being white and straight… just like every other Marvel superhero ever. Yawn.). The Internet was worked into a frenzy when there was a campaign to make Donald Glover the new Spiderman. People COULD NOT DEAL with a black Spider-man. Spider-man could not possibly be black! Donald Glover ended up not being the new Spider-man. There IS a black Spider-man, though. Why? Because Retroactive Continuity is totally a thing in the comic book world (and with studios rebooting franchises every eight years– it’s quickly becoming a thing in the movie world too). Superheroes have different histories and different stories depending on the series that they are in. So no matter what people INSIST– Spider-man can totally be black, or hispanic, or gay, or maybe even Canadian. If you know anyone who is flipping out over a bi-sexual Spider-Man, let them know that Helen Mirren suggested that Doctor Who should have a black, gay, LADY Doctor and watch their head explode. [The Mary Sue]

DI other stuff bar– Shitstorm added to German Dictionaries. [Planet Ivy]

– There is a giant T-Rex in Paris. T-Rex gloomily discovers that Parisians are all carbs. [Colossal]

– “15 Things That Escalated A Bit Too Quickly” [Buzzfeed]

– “Is This The Most Interesting Opening Paragraph Wikipedia’s Ever Published?” I want my Wikipedia page to have the same sort of gripping narrative. Also– I want to have a Wikipedia page. [Foreign Policy]

– The Miss Zandry Shop has awesome swag for ladies and feminists.  [TheMissZandryShop]

DI articles barA Closed Letter To Myself About Thievery, Heckling and Rape Jokes (Patton Oswalt)

What Did You Tell Your Kids After the Zimmerman Verdict? (Gene Demby // NPR)

DI videos bar“Everyone Is An Asshole” [College Humor]

“It’s Not About the Nail” [Jason Headley]

“Watch Alan Cumming Read Anything We Put In Front of Him” [Vulture]

The Time You Have (In Jellybeans) [Ze Frank]

Wadjda is the first movie to come out of Saudi Arabia that is directed by a woman. The movie looks like it will be funny and heartbreaking and I want to see it now. [Jezebel]

DI trailers and tv news barKristen Bell will be on Parks & Recreation [Entertainment Weekly]

Charlie Kaufman and Guillermo Del Toro are going to make a Slaughterhouse Five movie [Film School Rejects]