Tag Archives: Nikki Glaser


17 May

Inside Amy Schumer ~ “Compliments”

“Are you drunk? I look like an armenian man!”


Sometimes, I don’t know how to deal with positive attention…



Nikki & Sara Live… for real!

13 Apr

You guys! I got to meet Sara Schaefer and Nikki Glaser and it was awesome!

They performed at UNC last week along with Lewis Black and J.R. Havlin.

Lewis Black performs stand-up all over the US, but most people know him from The Daily ShowJ.R. Havlin is a writer for The Daily Show and Sara Schaefer and Nikki Glaser host their own show on MTV (Nikki & Sara Live). It was a pretty impressive line-up.

nikki and sara 05

When my mom heard that I met successful comedians who have jobs and get paid, (something I’m not sure she believes actually exists) she was thrilled. “That’s great! These things are a great networking opportunity.”

Yes, mom …in theory.

My friend, who knows me better, had a better grasp of the situation and just laughed in my face. “Was it a catastrophe?” she asked, already knowing full well that it was.

For any other person, meeting these two comics would have been a great networking opportunity. When they say to “make a memorable impression”, however, I am pretty sure they don’t mean “make that person fear for their life.”

Friend: It probably wasn’t as bad as you think.

Me: At one point, I told Sara Schaefer that I stalked her on the Internet.

Friend: Yikes.

I am mega-awkward, you guys.

People throw the word “awkward” around a lot. Everyone claims that they are soooo awkward, but in the end they rarely have the stories to back it up.

Allow me to explain the difference:

awkward versus normal

And it’s cool. I make it work. While I don’t flourish in social situations, usually I can pass for a normal human person. If I maintain a stoic front, no one knows that inside, my internal dialogue consists only of a sustained scream.

But when I’m around people I like or respect, it all goes to shit.

To help you better understand, I made another chart:

meeting someone I like or respect

So, basically, I’m not at my best around people I look up to.

During their time at UNC, Nikki and Sara did a panel discussion in the afternoon… to which I arrived late. I tried to get there on time, but  parking in Chapel Hill is a hellish nightmare and I had to park on the side of a mountain which was forever away from the main campus . And because we are experiencing such BEAUTIFUL sunny weather, I looked like a bedraggled swamp monster by the time I got there. I spent most of the panel trying to bring my body temperature down to an acceptable level (i.e. whatever level that would allow me to stop sweating like a maniac).

Afterwards, Sara and Nikki stuck around a little bit to talk to people. They were both incredibly gracious and thanked us all for coming, and we all went our separate ways.

Except en route to my car, I realized Nikki and Sara were also walking toward Franklin St. and I was

Remember: When meeting new people- it is important to respect their boundaries.

Remember: When meeting new people- it is important to respect their boundaries.

inadvertently shadowing them (like a stalker).

In an effort to appear like less of a creeper, I attempted to make small-talk with Sara Schaefer.

It was a disaster.

At this point, I wasn’t just battling innate bashfulness, I was coping with a colossal caffeine high. My three cups of coffee had finally decided to kick in.

I wasn’t just making awkward small-talk—I was doing it at the speed of light!

I cannot stress how nice she was. She answered all my questions and talked with me the whole way to Franklin St. She deserves a medal because I don’t even think I was speaking words at one point.

My favorite part was when she asked what college I went to.

Me: Oh– uh, Guilford Greensboro.

Don’t bother googling that college.

It doesn’t exist.

Friend: You couldn’t remember what college you went to?

Me: I mean… I remembered. I was just having trouble …speaking words.

Friend: Wow. She probably thought she was talking to a stroke victim.

The next day, when Brittany (my awesome UNC friend who hooked me up with tickets to everything) invited me to talk with the comedians after the show, I declined. I was grateful for my previous encounter with the two comics and I knew I hadn’t gotten any better at being an adult within the past 24 hours.

Not only did I successfully steal this poster, they both signed it. Victory!

Not only did I successfully steal this poster, they both signed it. Victory!

Instead, I went upstairs to steal a poster so I would have a souvenir of the performance. As I was busy working poster off the wall, the door beside me opened and all the comics who performed came filing through.

In an effort to stave off a panic attack, I chose to throw all my focus behind stealing this poster–which is a brilliant plan: “Don’t mind me, I’m just stealing things...”

Recognizing me from yesterday, Nikki Glaser came over and offered to sign the poster– because she is a super nice person.

I honestly have no idea what I said– or if I said anything, but I do know that I flattened myself against the wall like a scared injured bird.

Me: [head in hands] I shouldn’t be allowed around people. It’s always a disaster.

Friend: Well, surely being able to talk to people in your field won’t be a skill you need in the future.

Me: I hate you.

Yes, I am a graceless idiot and this might sound like a tragic mis-adventure, but that weekend was totally a win.

In my life, awesome things are just inextricably entwined with awkwardness. That is just how it is.

Ultimately, I got to meet and talk to two ladies I like and respect.

I’m not only a huge fan, I’m incredibly indebted to them.

They helped me get better at comedy.

When I’m in a creative slump, it helps me to look to people who are doing what I want to do. If it’s trouble with writing, I turn to writers for advice. When I am struggling with comedy, I turn to comedians. Nikki and Sara are part of that creative crew that I turn to when I’m feeling discouraged.

I’ve watched Glaser in A Day in the Life of a Female Comedian about twenty times, read Schaefer’s Advice to a Young Comedian (& Myself), watched their stand-up clips, and listened to them on podcasts talking about their own struggles with comedy. It’s been incredibly helpful and made whatever problem I was facing seem much more manageable.

It is also encouraging to see them succeed.

They have turned writing and being funny into a career. I basically want to be them when I grow up (which, I know, is a weird statement to hear from a 28 year old… and it is possible that Nikki Glaser might actually be younger than me… but, whatever, NEVER MIND THAT!).

The point is, meeting them was awesome.

I’ll never forget it.

(Although, I fervently pray that they have no recollection of me whatsoever.)

carpe diem bitches